Why I’m glad I’m HIV positive…
When I was told I had HIV it seemed like the end of my world.
I would never be able to get a boyfriend, I was going to die younger, I would feel shit all the time.
These were all thoughts that went through my head when I was diagnosed.
How did becoming HIV Positive affect me?
Becoming HIV Positive affects people in different ways.
For some it can be the start of a self destruct mission – turning to alcohol, drugs and sometimes leads to depression.
For me, at first it didn’t seem to have much impact at all. I was so busy with work and life that I didn’t really think about it much.
A few months after being diagnosed, I think it hit me and I don’t mind admitting I think I had a bit of a mini meltdown. I was going out drinking every week – I had to take time out of work and I really couldn’t be bothered to do anything. Nothing I tried could get me motivated.
After a month of doing the whole drinking thing – I got bored and realised I needed to sort my shit out.
I spoke to my family, friends and the doctor about the way I felt and got the help I needed.
Since then, I’ve had a 2 year long relationship (recently ended!) with a HIV negative boyfriend. I’ve travelled more than ever. I’ve achieved more and I’d probably say I’m more comfortable now.
Which leads me onto…
Why am I glad I’m HIV Positive now?
Cancer survivors or survivors of serious accidents often say they realise what’s important when they come out the other side of their ordeal.
I think the same can be said for HIV too.
I feel like I know what’s important now. I feel like everything I do now has a purpose. To make the most of the time I’ve been given.
It might seem a little dramatic – but it really does put things into perspective.
I’m comfortable with it and glad in a way. Because some people go through their whole lives plodding along, waiting for things to happen.
I for one don’t want to get to 70 and think what the fuck have I done with my life.
Becoming HIV Positive puts life into perspective.
Do something with it.